Innocence Is So Hard To Keep

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Hyderabad: 11 Jan 2023: Losing my innocence was a conscience thought
Living in a young mind I was always aware
Of the pleasure’s that harmed me and befriended me
They were going to destroy me eventually, but I didn’t care
I buried time after the death of my father
It seemed that one day I started digging my grave
The intensity to destroy me grew with the want to disappear
My fate told me that I wasn’t even worthy enough to save
My mind also told my heart these words of truth
With 11 attempts at introducing death to my soul
I started to drink to die, the pain was too great
As my illusions dissect me, the pieces are taking a toll
On me, I put so much hate and grief into my heart
I’ve become the monster that everyone portrayed me to be
My mask doesn’t care, not as it used to in yesterday’s
I willingly stared into the abyss and plead no mercy for me
Suicide denies my right to choose my wants
Especially on what I want my tombstone to say
“Veritas in Vino, I did this to me”
I died once, twice is even, death is a brand new day
I shared many nightmares with the night's wind
About living beyond my use, it's just life-wasting times end
Persevere, for there is no excuse for me to stop the night
Getting back my innocence will never help me to mend

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