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Hyderabad

Its okay when you are at 5 percent of energy, feeling low and have No stamina for big words

Hyderabad: 12 February 2022: I'm so tired and I just want to feel you again. No bullshit. No grand words. No stupid drinks. You know that feeling when you're at your 5% of energy, and you're just so done. But not enough to completely shut everything. So you waste all the time. It doesn't matter what you do, whether you play video games, take a shower for more than two hours, turned up the volume for sad songs because it's not sad enough. All that to even drain yourself, so for the next days, you can close all the doors.
You see, I'm not sure why it has to be you in my mind right now. It's been months and we both know we're better off this way. So I'm just not sure. Maybe I'm just used at you being there for me, especially when I'm at my lowest.
I'm fine but I miss you. The sadness. The spacing out. The tears and the fallout. Not in a hopeful way, tho. Maybe I just miss being broken by you. 'Cause I know we would not get another chance, and this is when I can only feel you now.

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