She wanted to be found. Not in a physical sense. In a more essence sense. Spiritual sense. Almost cosmic


Hyderabad: 28 April 2022: Maybe she was waiting to be found. Not in a physical sense. In a more essence sense. Spiritual sense. Almost cosmic. She wanted to be found for who she really was. She wanted someone to see through through facade she gives everyone. To see how she's really feeling and thinking. She could be all smiles, laughs, and her outgoing, friendly, bubbly self. But lift that linen sheet off. You know the one. The one with eyelet lace on the edges. White, but a little ivory in some spots from discoloration from the sun. Lift that off, and you'll see the broken sad girl she is. Trying hard to smile, be kinder, and make people laugh so they don't feel how she feels. If she can make someone's day a little brighter, that's better than how she feels. She didn't ask for all the trauma. She never wanted the losses that cut deep. But they happened. And they changed her as a person. You'd never know it though, or realize it. But he does. Oh, he does. He sees through it all. He sees she's trying too hard. Too hard to be normal, trying hard so people don't view her as a burden. Trying hard to be the best at her job working with children. Going above and beyond the norm. Trying hard at home, keeping up with the house, kids, daily routines. She does it like a pro. Managing everything like a tailored CEO. You would never expect anything was wrong. Well, that's not true. Maybe you'd notice something slightly. Like a hint that something is off. You would never think under that 'have it all together' exterior, that there's this person crying and silently screaming from heartbreak. Drowning in her own abyss. As I said, he knows. He sees through what she's doing. He knows her too well. Her looks, her breathing, her gestures, the words she chooses. He can just tell. He's the only one she can be real with. Her ultimate real true self. She doesn't hide anything from him. She can try, especially when she knows he's having a busy day and she doesn't want to add more stress to his day, but he knows. He can just feel it. And he doesn't want her to hold anything back. He's there for it all. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it. Isn't that what real deep love is? That type of love that says....'Come to me as broken and raw as you are. Give me your light and dark. Give me your happy, loving, comical self, BUT don't forget to show me your depression, anxiety, and longing for your normal self back. Your other girl lost. Show me that too. Don't just show me the good. I need to see everything. Be there for it all. Be there for you in all these versions of yourself. The highs and the lows. And I will be the one picking you up, supporting you, and holding you so you feel loved and safe. I'll lead you to the bed, where you just lay in my arms as I hold you tight, and you cry silently over God knows what, you may not even know, and you don't have to even tell me. But I'll hold you tight until you're not tense anymore, and go limp in my arms, letting it all slip away. Because you're safe. Safe with me here. Safe to be your true self you keep hidden away from the world, and try not to let anyone see. But you can be free with me. Because I love you that deeply. Now and always'. And he did. Truly he did. And she felt all of that from him. He didn't even have to say those words. She just felt it within. Like a passing vibration from his soul to hers, from his mind to hers. So you see....she didn't need to be fixed. She needed to be loved for exactly who she is right now".
-©️Michele McKenna, Simple Elegance

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